I noticed on arrival that you could smell the bathrooms on your way into the dining area, so I was not a happy camper when nature inevitably called. I trekked my way over to the bathrooms, and as I got closer, the smell became stronger. I finally managed to push open the (sticky! D: D: D:) door and the measly two stalls were filled. There’s not enough room to stand in there (nor would I want to b/c of the smell), as you are blocking the sinks, so I waited in the hall for someone to come out.

Finally, this drunk, middle-aged skank stumbled out, and I made my way in. FUCK. The floor was COVERED in urine. It smelled SO bad, I was gagging. Not only that, but the bottom of my jeans was soaking it all up (damn you HEIGHT, DAMN YOU).

I armored the toilet with 3 ass-gaskets, and did my business. THERE WAS NO FUCKIN’ TOILET PAPER. Why? B/c all the toilet paper was on the ground, in the puddles of urine and whatever else.

So I had to finish up with MORE ass-gaskets… and then i flushed. I tried to get out of my stall, but I noticed that I had ribbons of toilet paper stuck to my fuckin sneakers.I could not get it off, so I got what i could off and rubbed my soles on the ganky carpet on the way back to the table.

God. So gross.

Cardinal Cinnamon French Toast w/ Caramel Sauce: Four triangles (2 slices of bread) of basic french toast, thrown into a basic cinnamon sugar mixture and tossed on a plate. I expected the cinnamon to be part of the egg mixture that the toast is fried in. Nowhere in the description does it say that this is “cinnamon sugar french toast…” this dish and the lack of clarifying description is totally misleading.

The portion itself was so small that they had to decorate my barren plate with a stupid orange slice topped with a maraschino cherry. My plate also came with a cup filled with nasty-ass fake butter and a microscopic plastic cup of “caramel sauce”… it could not have been more than a tablespoon… if that. And it was cold… I’m almost positive that it’s that crap you squeeze on top of ice cream sundaes.

For almost $9, this particular meal was a complete and total rip off. When you go to a restaurant, you want to order something unique that you don’t usually make at home… I could have made this at home for FREE and I can guarantee that it would be thousands of times better than this gastronomic atrocity.